As someone who sees sorry perhaps said too often, I sometimes wonder if the art of apology is fast becoming an apparatus for absolution in our day and age. When David cried out to God in Psalm 51 that: "against thee, thee only, have I sinned", I used to wonder what about the broken Bathsheba and murder of Uriah? Why does the Bible omit description of, say, David's apology of a profuse and profound proportion in recognition of others and the gravity of his sins in rape and murder? If David pleaded for mercy from God to wash him thoroughly from his iniquity and cleanse him from his sins (Psalm 51:1-2), has he restored the relationships with those he sinned against? The scriptural message cannot be clearer on God's words being "if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23-24). Yet, David seemed to emphasise that "the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart" (Psalm 51:17)? In truth, Bathsheba's first child by David was struck with severe illness and died unnamed a few days after birth, and Nathan the prophet noted that David's house would be punished for killing Uriah then marrying Bathsheba, which we saw unfolded in 2 Samuel.
There are times in life when we may have no recourse to restore a relationship. We may respect the other we have wronged who may not wish to hear words of sorrow or sorry for our sins. In my case, falling short of the fruits of the spirit is far less than what we ought to be, having just understood, at least in theory, that "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). So when we are less than who we are or ought to be, and are lost in the labyrinth of lament where we cannot present an apology to the one against whom we have wronged and yet who may be the only one able to forgive what we have done, we can only perhaps present penitence to God with a contrite heart. "For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another...let us not live in word or speech, but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us, for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." (1 John 3:11-18). So in remorse and repentance did David turn to God in acknowledgement of his transgressions in one of the famous Psalms. Perhaps after attempts to apologise, undocumented by the scripture, or knowing no apology in this world would ever mend what he broke, David turned to Him in prayers.
A short piece born out of sorrow. All moral rights (including copyright) belong to the author.
A short piece born out of sorrow. All moral rights (including copyright) belong to the author.
